Saturday, August 22, 2009

My Aging Parents



I wonder how many of us do visit our aging parents.

Some of us live far away and hardly ever visit them. Some of us always expect other family members to take care of them. Some of us only phone them once in a while. And some of us need frequent reminders to visit them.

And I wonder how many of us do talk to our aging parents.

Some of us never really try to spend time talking to them. And some of us never take the initiative to talk to them first.

It is funny to think just how much we can tell them if we want to. We can talk to them about the current issues. We can talk about what is going on in our lives. We can talk about our problems and seek collective wisdom. We can talk about pregnancy and parenting......

And I wonder how many of us do bring our aging parents along wherever we go.

I wonder how many of us do bring them to live in with us, though I do know of friends who bring their parents to live with them for their own selfish reasons.

I wonder how many of us do bring them for traveling, shopping trips, family holidays and for just walking around the neighborhood.

I wonder how many of us do bring them into our family and our children's life.

I wonder how many of us do bring them to the church.

I wonder how many of us do help our parents to deal with their concerns.

I wonder how many of us do help them to live comfortably.

I wonder how many of us do help them to better their lifestyles.

I wonder how many of us do support their desire to live independently just as we do.

I wonder how many of us do help them to relax and enjoy during their stay with us.

I wonder how many of us do support their well-established values and beliefs.

I, for one, have failed them so much...

And I miss them now...now that they are gone.

7 comments:

hitesh rawat said...

yea.....even i don't know i'll be doing that or not.....i just moved to a new city .... and this is the first time i left my home....work isn't that easy........


woo hooo ..... \,,,/

Kloggers/Polly said...

I was brought up in a family that always visited parents and grand parents at least once a week. So as I grew older and found that others didn't it was completely alien to me.

I shared so many memories with all of my grand parents and parents and even to this day often wished I could have another conversation with any of them. They left this earth a long time ago but they passed on to me many treasured memories and volumes of information. There is always that one question more that a person would love to ask though, I think.

Another thing that I carry most dearly is the memory of some very loving hugs and kisses!

There is an old saying in England ... 'Give the flowers whilst they can still be smelt.'

PJ said...

my father has passed years ago and my mother has lived with me as well as both of my sisters. currently she is living with my youngest sister. she always feels like she is a burden even though all of us have tried to convince her that she is not. she will always be with one of us, that's just the way it is.

Vicki said...

this was extremely touching. I felt so bad for my husbands grandma when she was still alive. His mom treated his grandma like a child.It seemed so disrespectful how she talked to her. Thank you for posting this as a reminder and inspiration

Ken said...

We treat our aging parents with great care and respect. Together with my brothers and sisters, almost all of whom are living overseas, we have set up a fund which allows them to live comfortably. We call them up as frequently as we can just to check on how they are doing and to let them know they are missed. My mom would often tell us that the money we spent for long distance calls would be better spent if we gave it to charity. Her way of telling us, not to forget our social obligation to help others who are in most need of help as well.

L. Venkata Subramaniam said...

Yes I too feel guilty on many of these points.

Sandy said...

I talked with my parents every couple of days and we visited about once every 2 wks, until Mom had problems with her knee. Then there many many days in the hospital, the rehab facility and at her home. I visited, shopped, cooked, talked on the phone multiple times a day with both she and my dad. I would go to wash her hair, because she couldnt'. Then she got very ill and things intensified greatly. I spent every day for 7 long weeks in the hospital with she and my Dad. Sometimes leaving for an hour or two to do their errands and some of my own and then returning again to the hospital. Her last 7 wks were very bad.

Now that she's past I talk to my Dad even more often, he's alone. I talk to him on the phone sometimes 2-3 times a day; but always at least once. I visit him and he comes to dinner at least once a week, often we see each other more often than that.

I fix food and freeze it for him, and believe I'll now be doing that for his older sister...because sadly her own daughter doesn't.

I posted a link on my page, would love you to swing by. Yesterday would have been my parents 62nd weeding anniversary. I posted a memorial/memory. Please take a look.

Sandy

late in from work, sorry it's the end of the day before I was able to pop in and say thank you for placing the ad, it's appreciated.

Hope to have time in a couple of days to come back and read and catch up.

Sandy at Traveling Suitcase